How to learn not to cry when you are hurt or hurt. How not to cry if you want

Tears are a natural reaction to trouble, grief or stress, but most people prefer not to show them to others. It is not easy to hold back when resentment or anger rolls over. In this article, we have collected psychological techniques that will help you not cry when you really want to. After reading our material, you will learn to control yourself!

How not to cry when you really want - exercise

Psychologists advise to concentrate on breathing in moments of emotional excitement. You may have noticed that when you feel like crying out of resentment, your breathing gets confused and accelerated, and in moments of severe stress or fear, you even stop getting enough air for a while. To calm yourself, you need to calm your breathing. Do you feel like you're about to burst into tears? Raise your chin and take a few deep breaths in through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. Thus, you can get rid of the so-called lump in the throat. Try to count your breathing movements, imagine how the air fills your lungs. An unpleasant lump in the throat will help to remove a couple of sips of water or cool tea. If there is no liquid nearby: swallow several times. And don't forget about breathing.

If tears are already in your eyes, blink them away. You should not wipe your eyes indicatively, what good else will you rub your cosmetics! Look down, then lift your eyes up, look right and left. Repeat this exercise several times until the tears are gone. Some psychologists advise to close your eyes for a few seconds.

You can also distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts by performing certain physical actions. You can, for example, bite your lip or clench your fist. But, remember that you should not feel pain, only a slight discomfort that can draw your attention to yourself. If there is a person nearby whom you trust, or someone who is aware of your psychological state, his palm can become your support.

Yawning, by the way, also helps to calm down! In addition, you definitely won’t be able to cry and yawn at the same time! Physical exercise is very effective and will benefit your nervous system!

How not to cry at the wrong moment - psychological exercises

In order not to cry at the wrong moment, think of something that will take all your attention. How about solving a math problem in your head or repeating the multiplication table? Not only will you concentrate on it, but also make the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for computational operations, work. Emotions - controls the right; by stimulating the work of both hemispheres of the brain, you can effectively block the emotional flow. If math isn't your forte, remember the words to your favorite song, or even sing it to yourself. The melody should be cheerful, and the lyrics should be positive.

The second psychological technique is more complicated, but more effective. You need to remember something funny. Of course, focusing on something positive when tears come to your eyes is not an easy task. Psychologists advise in advance to come up with and memorize a list of jokes from films or funny situations from your life that you will remember in moments of emotional experiences. Try to smile!

Motivate yourself not to cry! For example, "if I cry, the boss will think that I am weak" or "strangers will see that I do not know how to control myself." Tell yourself that you are strong and right now it is important to prove it!

Man is an extremely complex being, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all, to a greater or lesser extent, subject to emotions. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, “walking in the clouds” and “rose-colored glasses”, mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would long ago have turned into a robot-like, soulless creature.

Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs

What emotions throughout life do we experience more often - positive or negative? It is rather difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobs, so that’s why she’s a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, sadness and even joy? Absolutely - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from a long-awaited meeting with your loved one, or if something made you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions bring only positive, cleansing and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it’s really hard and some unpleasant events put pressure on the heart like a stone, disturb the consciousness, embarrass? Psychologists unequivocally say: on the contrary, in such cases, crying is not just necessary, but necessary! Why? Because, splashing out everything that has boiled up, we thus get a psychological discharge, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative in ourselves, experience it silently, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just like a spring is compressed under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neurosis, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situation, not to cry? Then prepare in advance to become a patient of a psychotherapist!

When to restrain yourself

We considered situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When it becomes affective, i.e. excessive, exaggerated forms, the picture also begins to take on a clinical appearance. And here, indeed, it should be understood that in other cases it is better to restrain oneself and not cry than to dismiss oneself and nurse on every occasion. And not always the situation is conducive to the open manifestation of feelings. If you were insulted, then to show tears in front of the offender means to humiliate yourself even more, to show your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, to give your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need it? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.

Learn to dominate

Yes, that's exactly what the first tip sounds like. Develop restraint and self-control, the ability to control emotions, to show a strong-willed moment. Various auto-trainings will provide good support to you in this regard. The easiest and most accessible way to calm down and not cry is to take a deep breath several times and count to ... Some up to 10, and some more. The main thing is that after such an exercise you relax a little, pull yourself together, and feelings return to a more familiar course and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations in force majeure. And in general - a long and hard work on yourself!

Evidence by contradiction

How not to cry if you want? Another good remedy- the ability to look at the problem from a slightly different position, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - evidence by contradiction. Did your husband leave for someone else? Yes, it hurts, it’s hard, it’s insulting, it’s hopeless ... You can pick up epithets endlessly. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and “his” departure is the prospect of new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned and another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But after all, no one cancels the financial and other assistance of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if "life was cut short." Not! What makes us stronger - adopt this worldly wisdom, and it will teach you how not to cry from pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from outward cruelty.

From a smile

Psychologists often recommend: when they start scratching cats on their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first, with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again ... Until you get a joyful, sincere smile, from the bottom of your heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and what tormented you ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting with yourself! Proven in practice: this method is good not only for those who are thinking about how to do it so as not to cry. It will help any person to cheer up, gain cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!

distraction moment

If you are interested in how to never cry, we are forced to disappoint you: it is not feasible. No wonder the poet said: "Who did not cry, he did not live." But to reduce the experience to a minimum - you can. How? Learn to switch and be distracted. You feel that it has “rolled up” and is about to overwhelm - try to distract yourself. For this, someone grabs a vacuum cleaner or washing powder, someone enthusiastically scribbles on a typewriter, trying to kill the “setting teeth” with the anticipation of a new outfit. Someone is saved by the kitchen and the original recipe, while others pull their hair out of the swamp of the torment with rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex ... All means here are good, as long as they give the necessary mental relaxation and serve effective lightning rod.

Turning to scream

Yes, if you are choking with tears, it will be useful to simply “shout out”. In a cry, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical tension. Close yourself in your room and shout whatever comes to mind - furiously, without restraint, out loud. You'll feel better almost immediately, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and not about the weather ... But this is a slightly different story.

Peace of mind is in our hands

Soulful, i.e. inner peace is a special state of harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life's problems from different angles.

And, finally, the main thing is to cultivate positive thinking in yourself and live, rejoicing in every new day. After all, life is priceless - it is your life!

Sometimes it is very necessary to depict strong emotions. Play like crying in the movies. Emotions are expressive, they capture the attention of a person, shake him to the core. Logic is powerless against feelings. This is a very powerful tool for influencing other people.

Can this be learned? How to make yourself laugh for no reason or burst into tears at any moment? For many, this is real acting, inaccessible to mere mortals. In fact, learning this is not so easy, but it is quite possible.

First, go to the mirror, stand up straight and completely relax. Relaxation is very important. Release your facial muscles. Then start grimacing, depicting certain emotions: sadness, joy, anger, bewilderment. Don't force yourself at first, play what you want. Do not rush, do it calmly, somewhat slowly.

Do not try to immediately portray vivid emotions, this mistake is often made by beginners. Direct your attention inward. Stanislavsky said that the main thing happens inside.

Having depicted one emotion, feel how your facial muscles work in it. Feel what your body wants to do. If you take the time to do this, you will quickly notice that even in such a simulated emotion, teeth and fists clench by themselves in anger, the head and shoulders drop in sadness, and lightness appears in the chest in joy.

Sadness and tears

Now take Special attention sadness. Think about what makes you sad. Think of a moment in your own life when you felt like crying. How old were you then? Dive into this moment. Remember. Become a child. Maybe then you did not cry, but now you can ... Now everything is possible. At first, it is enough just to feel the moisture in the eyes.

Play this theater every day for at least 20 minutes. Either way, it won't be a waste of time! Gradually, you become aware of the connection between your body and emotions. This is self-development, the path to mastery.

Development is the way to mastery of an artist

Now we need to make the state more manageable. To do this, let's go from the outside. Look at the facial expressions of a crying person. Find the right moment in the movie and carefully watch it several times. Now play: reproduce the facial expressions of the crying, sob.

Remembering your own crying will help you force yourself to be natural. Connect them together, external facial expressions and breathing while crying with personal internal experience. Do not be distructed.

Even a small tear is an indicator that you are on the right track. You can easily verify this for yourself. When you linger in this state, tears will roll on their own. If this happens, don't hold them back, give them freedom. Each time the skill will grow and it will be easier and easier to get.

In the future, to trigger the necessary emotions, it is better to take not your own personal experience, like a scene from a movie that makes you want to cry. This will help you learn how to simultaneously experience the role and observe it in order to make adjustments. However, there are no rigid recommendations here, as in any creative process.

Auxiliary techniques

Of course, there are more mundane options for how to cause tears. Actors use them too.

How to cry on stage:

• If you rub your eyes and do not blink for about 3 minutes, your eyes begin to water. In order not to blink, you can simply hold your eyelids with your fingers. Add to this facial expressions, sobs and what you have already learned in terms of managing emotions, then your game will turn out to be convincing. This is the easiest way to induce tears.
• Some actors use a similar trick. They simply open their eyes wide, hold them as long as they can force themselves, and then yawn several times.
• Use peppermint oil or menthol, they are part of cosmetic balms and ointments. If you rub such a balm or peppermint oil under the eyes, on the lower eyelid, then in about half a minute the tears will pour themselves. Don't forget to play. When using this method, do not let the menthol get into your eyes!
• Another technique, how to cry on purpose, was often used by artists of the past. We hold our face over a freshly chopped onion, and when our eyes water, we run to the stage. The pluses include that such inhalations are useful for the eyes and lungs. To do everything imperceptibly, you need to crush the onion to the state of gruel and fill it with a small vial. Hide it in the palm of your hand, and when necessary, bring it to your eyes.
• A similar trick is to use a handkerchief soaked in ammonia.
• If all else fails, you can drip eye drops sulfacyl sodium. This medicine is often used for preventive purposes. Pinching your eyes will make it easy to induce tears when you want. In the cinema, harmless “natural tear” drops are more often used; they are also sold in pharmacies. To use them, boldly drip 8-10 drops, tears will flow due to the amount of liquid.

How not to cry if there are tears in your eyes

Sometimes there is a question of holding back tears. For artists, it also occurs when they are deeply immersed in feelings. But often those who simply don’t know what to do when you want to stop crying, but you can’t, ask about this.

Here's what to do:

• Equalize your breathing. Crying breathes unevenly, impetuous sobs, sniffing are very characteristic of crying. Take a deep breath in through your nose, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Several such breaths and exhalations noticeably calm emotions. A similar effect occurs if you take a deep breath and hold your breath.
• Take a break. Imagine your favorite character. Count the objects in the room as you wish. Clench your hands tightly into fists, focusing your attention on them. Any of these tricks will help you switch.
• Drink some water. Swallowing will relax the lump in the throat that often accompanies the rush of emotions.
• Blink to stop the flow of moisture to the eyes.

Feel free to cry if you do cry. Be natural, allow yourself to cry and they will pass faster. Look at it like a workout. Every time you tried to do something with your feelings, you learned.

To master the art of managing emotions, you need to be patient. Not everything can work out right away. It doesn't matter if you want to learn how to shed tears or vice versa, to hold them back.

Be sure to end your exercises in positive thoughts, play with a smile and joy. And the result will come.

There are many situations in which people try to hold back tears - for example, in an exam or a job interview.

Or at a meeting with the authorities, having heard rude criticism addressed to him. Or at school, getting an unfair C in algebra. Or after a fight, when crying from pain and humiliation is simply embarrassing.

How to stop crying when you're sad

Great grief becomes the cause of endless tear streams. After the death of a relative or a break with a loved one, it can be difficult to stop moaning.

Tears cleanse, allow you to throw out emotions that are bursting over the edge - that's right. Therefore, psychologists advise you to cry properly in a difficult situation for you.

But after a day or two, it is important to regain control over the senses and the lacrimal glands.

Strong hysterical crying day and night can lead to serious stress for the body, nervous breakdown and prolonged depression.

And when you need the strength to stop and stop crying, they will no longer be.

At this moment, it is important to change the vector, get distracted, find the energy in yourself to leave the house, go to the cinema or cafe, meet friends.

Any public place will become a deterrent: not everyone wants to cry in public.

Order yourself a soothing tea, watch the pedestrians. Watch a funny movie or an exciting series, listen to music, dance.

While your brain is busy contemplating and coordinating movements, it forgets about experiences.

Try to spend more time in the company of conversations: Don't talk, just watch and listen.

The more your feelings are occupied, the more productive the "therapy" will be. You can, for example, fiddle with a napkin or draw in a notebook to also include touch.

Bitter tears and positive thinking

Often the culprit of tears over trifles is a disturbed hormonal background.

If you are crying with or without reason, you should contact an endocrinologist, check the thyroid gland and donate blood for “especially nervous” hormones.

A corrective course of vitamins and pills will save you from the problem that you suffered from in school.

Learning not to cry when you're upset isn't easy. After all, this is an instinctive reaction of the body, which is difficult to train. Tears themselves flow, giving vent to pain, resentment and other negative emotions.

What is important is control not over the body, but over your thoughts. If you see everything in black, then crying becomes a frequent companion in life.

A positive mindset can help you deal with tantrums. In every loss, look for an opportunity. Have you been fired? It's okay, this is a chance to look for the place of your dreams.

Dumped boyfriend? But reproach yourself, do not imagine that now life is over, because it has only just begun.

First dates, languid glances, furtive kisses - you have been given the opportunity to go through this path first, with a more suitable person.

How to hold back tears and not burst into tears

Sometimes tears become traitors and arise in the most awkward situation. They seem to specifically demonstrate to others that you are not an alpha male or female at all, but an ordinary loser and crybaby.

What to do so as not to burst into tears at the wrong time:

1. Breathing exercises help to calm down and hold back tears. If you feel like you're about to burst into tears, take a very deep breath through your nose.

Exhale slowly, pause, and slowly, consciously inhale again. Play for a minute in "breathe - do not breathe." You should think only about the breath, and not about the annoying factor or hurtful words.

Taking deep breaths slows your heart rate, relieves tension, and relieves the hyperventilation problem that often occurs with tantrums.

2. Change your posture, stand up, straighten your shoulders, take a sip cold water, pinch yourself, bite your lip. These physiological distraction methods are very effective.

Ask to leave the office - go wash yourself, eat a chocolate bar or a handful of nuts, drink sweet tea.

3. Focus on a super-nice look. You can think about the upcoming vacation: draw a picture in front of your eyes where you are basking in a sun lounger under a palm tree.

Think about your beloved child - I wonder how he was there at school, has he already defended the project that you did together all night? Come up with a romantic dinner that you cook on Sunday for your spouse.

4. Imagine a funny situation, which your offender could get into. For example, your boss is crucifying you.

Mentally undress him to his underpants (let it be very humiliating “heart-to-heart” family members) and make him dance the lambada. Believe me, instead of tears, only an insidious smirk will appear on your face.

5. Let your emotions out at the wrong time so they don't accumulate.

Intimate conversations with friends, an unequal fight with a punching bag, running around a beautiful lake in the morning, intensive cardio in the gym help to relieve tension.

Good also, meditation on morning coffee, massage sessions with a good specialist for relaxation.

If you have a stressful job that brings you to tears every now and then, you should devote more time to relaxation.

6. To give vent to feelings and not get hung up on situations, put them on paper when you get home.. You can start a whole diary for a bad mood.

Write what exactly hurt you, why this is a sore subject for you, how much you are worried.

Describe your emotions as precisely as possible: “I am very angry with Petr Ivanovich, I am depressed and feel powerless, I am annoyed by my low position, I am afraid to show everyone my weakness.”

And then close the diary and go for a walk.

If the situation that makes you cry has dragged on, remember the words of the wise Solomon. Everything goes and it is also.

We all have to laugh in another, adult and serious life, as we sobbed over the deuce in the diary and could not hold back tears when we saw our beloved high school student with a beautiful girl.

But we survived it, which means that everything else will be on the shoulder.